“I want to ask you, as clearly as I can, to bear with patience all that is unresolved in your heart, and try to love the questions themselves, as if they were rooms yet to enter or books written in a foreign language. Don’t dig for answers that can’t be given you yet: you cannot live them now. For everything must be lived.” ~ Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
May you breathe easier upon reading that–a kind of reminder that you are a universe to be explored and, eventually, mastered–in the sense that a Lover intimately knows and masters the body of his Beloved. But the universe is a grand place, full of mystery. There is time enough. You do not need to rush your soul; there is nothing to prove to anyone else about your worth or reasoning or right to be here on this journey. You need not waste a lot of worry trying to explain yourself. You’re up to bigger things than that.
In another place, Rilke writes:
“What happens most deeply inside you is worthy of your whole love. Work with that and don’t waste too much time and courage explaining it to other people.”
May you be reminded today of what you want; or rather, how you want to be in the world.